What quality do you expect to get?

I just saw a t-shirt "Will sell my wife for a beer."
Last night at Wal-Mart, they had shirts for sale "Will sell my husband for some wine."
If you want to make that trade, exactly what are expecting to receive in return? Think of the worst drink you can, and it's probably below that.
If you wear these shirts in public, what do you think your spouse would trade you for? Some used socks or bent paperclips? If you're lucky.